1. Make it easy for the person you are meeting. Choose a place that is convenient for them or, better yet, let them choose the place! Also, come prepared. The person we are meeting shouldn’t have to work hard to learn about us. We need to have concise answers to: Who am I? What is my story and why should anyone care? What defines my uniqueness? What am I  looking for? What do you need/want from me?

2. Put the phone down. Frankly, this still amazes me. Just turn it off when we meet with someone. It is rude to keep texting or to pick up a call  – after all, that sends the message that the person on the other end of the phone is more important. Now, for those that say….I am expecting a call, etc…OK – I get it. Just apologize on the front end – and set the expectation. Yet, best case – just turn it off and respect the other person and their time.

3. Complainers: bottle it. When we find ourselves  in a funk in life – which can be brought on by a whole host of things like a job we don’t like, being unemployed, or simply lacking direction – it often can lead to finding fault with everything else! “I have no money. It is too cold in here. This is ridiculous…$6.00 for a cup of coffee?” The list can grow without any effort. So, resist the urge to purge these complaints. It is not a turn-on – it is turn-off. And this leaves a lasting impression, which is not a positive one.

4. It is not all about you. Sure, we are reaching out because we need help. I have been there – and I am still there in certain areas in my life! Yet, we are all in this together. Everyone has a box of rocks to carry. So, when we meet with folks, offer to help them, too. Think about it ahead of time; what can I do to help this person? Then, offer it proactively, generously, and be sure to follow through. That creates a circle of support between the two people – and that is powerful.

5. Say thank you! This is so easy, yet I cannot begin to tell you  how often this is forgotten. It is as if we think we are entitled to the person’s time, their introductions, their referrals, etc. We aren’t. So, we just need to take a few minutes to jot a note or an email to sincerely thank the other person for their generosity of time and spirit.

Sounds simple? Yes, it is. However, I know in our busy, hectic, stressful lives – these basic manners bear reminding.

These things may be visiting a sick colleague in the hospital instead of meeting friends at happy hour, or putting in a volunteer shift when you would rather be outside enjoying the fall weather, or even standing up for a friend when the other friends in the group want to speak ill of them or exclude them. These are often small decisions which test our scruples and levels of loyalty; yet, they are also things which can mean the world to the other person.

I recently have experienced being the “other person” when individuals elected not to do the right thing. It stung and ultimately shifted the human dynamics forever. In Deirdre’s story, she suggests this is often the case. Most of our lives are not so dramatic that we are evaluating grand heroic gestures; rather, they are made up of small moments where “doing good” is simply doing the right thing, versus doing nothing. So, when it is often tempting to not do the right thing and follow the pack – while our conscious is bothering us to do the right thing – remember the mantra: “Always go the funeral.” The deceased person may not know you are there, yet you and the family will.

The metaphor of the dragonfly is genius. The name is a tribute to the “Butterfly Effect,” which is itself built on chaos theory. It describes how the flapping of a butterfly’s wings might have an impact on the weather halfway around the world. The dragonfly, however, moves with tremendous speed and force, and compared to a butterfly, it has about 20 times more power in each flap of its wings. Imagine the potential when this is harnessed and coordinated on a mass scale.

Small acts can create big change, and working in concert maximizes our ability to go farther, faster—and in any direction we choose. As beautifully written in one of my favorite Beatle’s song, ‘Come Together’, we have the potential to come together and make a difference in our organizations, schools, and our world. Amazing what we can learn from a dragonfly.

• Talk to one client for 30 minutes each week. The key here is to really listen to your client…what is keeping him/her awake at night? What challenges are they facing? What are the industry trends, from their perspective? What is their business outlook? This elevates the relationship from a pure sales relationship to an interested partner and potentially a truly trusted adviser.
• Talk to one prospect for 30 minutes each week. They key here is not to be “selling” what you have to offer; rather, this again is about listening to them – what is on their minds? What do they need? How can you be of service to them?
• Talk to one industry leader for 30 minutes each week. This can be someone in our Rotary Club, our Sunday School class, a trade association member, a blogger we follow – the list is right in front of us. Again, these folks can shed light on how they see the future of the world, our industry, the overall market, etc. This gives increased insight into how to move forward with our business and our offerings.

If we do this, we can potentially uncover a new opportunity each week – that is 52 new opportunities by simply spending 90 minutes a week focusing our efforts in a thoughtful, strategic, aligned manner. Let’s give it a try…one thing is for sure: we will benefit from what we will learn from these three new conversations. How and what we do with this information is up to us!

While driving back from Arkansas this year, there was a wonderful suggestion on NPR which I want to offer as another approach for 2012. What if we simply chose one word which will become our focus area for 2012.

For example, instead of declaring we will lose the ever-abating 10 lbs or 5% body fat; what if we simply stated we want to become more healthy? Then, everything we think, say and do in 2012 is all about becoming more healthy: exercising, less fast food, vitamins, less toxins in our diet, etc. What if we chose the word open? This could mean living life with an open heart, being open to new ideas, being open to change, being open to acquisition, being open to a new position or relationship. What if we chose the word disciplined – which could mean frugal with our money, habitual about our workouts, or thoughtful to our obligations. You get the drift.

So, this year, instead of putting ourselves in a tactical gridlock of to-dos this year, perhaps we can put a theme around our overall goals for growth. I, for one, am going to give it a try – and this one word will become my “mantra word” for 2012.

1. Always be true to yourself.
2. Rather than focus on work-life separation, focus on work-life integration.
3. Don’t network. Focus on building real relationships and friendships where the relationship itself is its own reward, instead of trying to get something out of the relationship to benefit your business or yourself.
4. Remember to maximize for happiness, not money or status.
5. Think about what your definition of success really is. Is it externally driven or internally driven?
6. Get ready for rejection.
7. Success unshared is failure. Give back — share your wealth.
8. Successful people do all the things unsuccessful people don’t want to do.
9. Don’t lie, cheat or steal for one penny or one dollar — ever.
10. Business with bad people is always bad business
11. A bonus one:  Live your life full throttle. Take risks!

The article is worth reading, as we begin our 2011 recap and 2012 business planning and strategic discussions. Two key takeaways for me:

• We manage what we measure. Historically, good business folks track revenue, cost of sales, ROI, and other “how much” metrics. What the “new world order” needs to also focus on is the ALIGNMENT and integration of our company’s values, behavior and culture. These are the new hard currency of business today.
• It is not enough to measure the what we are doing and performing – it is just as important to measure the how we are accomplishing as it is the what we are accomplishing. The how becomes the true competitive differentiator.

The article explores how the Boston Red Sox employed a form of Moneyball to win two World Series titles. It is interesting to note they focused on the how and their overall team spirit. In business, the how is also the secret sauce. Successful business leaders get that what we measure within our companies serves as a window into our organizational and cultural values – and into our organization’s long-term financial value too. Take a look in the mirror…it is not enough to measure the what -  the how ensures sustainability and ultimately wins the marathon race.

This is an art – not a science – as we all know. Yet, there are a few easy tips to keep in mind:

1. The devil IS in the details. So, when you are presenting yourself – in person, electronically, or in hard copy format – be polished in every way. No typos. Prompt thank you notes and emails. Be on time. Be prepared. All the details we often let go by the wayside the higher we climb in the corporate chain, COUNT. I am here to tell you – these small details and nuances matter.

2. Stay curious and open. Interviews are often not so much what you tell them about you – it is what you ASK that makes the difference. Go broad and deep…industry, company, culture, leadership, current challenges, etc. The questions show your thoughtfulness (or lack thereof), and this is a sign of maturity and executive thinking.

3. Pre-briefing calls and phone interviews are not casual get-to-know-you conversations. Treat every interaction like it is the real deal. Smile while talking (they can tell….even if over the phone). Keep the energy high – without being an “eager beaver.” Be prepared and professional.

4. Finally, have your answer to the “So what?” question well engrained in your mind. In other words…Why YOU? It is not enough to share what you have done, where you have done it, etc. You need to be clear on what it is that you uniquely offer and the results you can bring to the table. Full stop. In preparing for your interview, ask yourself at the end of every question asked – did I make it clear what I uniquely offered and delivered? If the answer is “I’m not sure,” then start over and create sharp, crisp answers which leave your mark. THAT is how you will be remembered when stacked up against others of equal tenure and experience.

In the spirit of full transparency, it is with a healthy combination of passion, excitement and fear that I welcome 11/1/11. It has been a year+ of hard work, tumultuous learning curves, and – quite frankly – frustration. Writing a book is not for the faint of heart. Simply stated: the publishing industry is changing rapidly yet remains broken.

So what have I learned in this process? Well, I could cathartically write a book on how to write a book from my perspective, as there is so much one does not know until you are knee deep in it and by that time the only option is to keep plugging forward! Yet, what I would like to share in this particular blog is a single keen awareness about myself, which may prove insightful, stimulating or maybe even encouraging to those of you facing similarly challenging entrepreneurial roles, corporate leadership positions, or simply living life in general.

Passion trumps fear.

The fact is that I have always wanted to write, ever since I was a little girl. Thus, I did – starting when I was a child. A book was the dream. I believe in order for dreams to come true we have to put in place a plan fueled by discipline and move stubbornly forward in faith. In my case, the fear of rejection, failure and all the other types of risk associated with this dream fell second to the passion. Sure, I am still greeting 11/1/11 with some trepidation, yet the fact is that I have jumped out of the plane, hoping the parachute opens! Regardless, the experience has been tremendous and I have learned a lot which I will undoubtedly use with my Alignment, Inc. clients and in the writing of my second book.

Net: passion was the key for me. Without that, this book would never have seen the light of day.

Is This Seat Taken? Dallas Book Launch from Kristin Kaufman on Vimeo.

1. Know your stuff. They are both smart, enterprising, studied leaders. Neither stopped learning when they assumed each new position; in fact, I believe they studied even harder.

2. Talk straight. Though many many may disagree with their positions, giving the “straight and skinny” is  imperative in their roles. There is no room for watered-down diplomacy; there has to be diplomacy anchored in facts. Candor can indeed be a powerful approach in negotiations.

3. Be brave. Popularity is not the end game. Being brave – to stand tall in the face of controversy from all sides, including their own – is a requirement. Can you even imagine going into the various situations they faced – from 9/11/01 to today’s tumultuous unrest – all around the world?

4. Take nothing personally.  This gets easier as we move up the ladder of success. Regardless, we are all part of the “human condition”, and have feelings. Despite the many lives lost, hard decisions made, and sharp criticism of these respective leaders, they both stayed the course against formidable odds.

5. Always do your best. It cannot be disputed that these women, as different as they are in approach, style and values, work like Trojan horses. They continually put their best foot forward; again, it matters not whether we agree with their individual stances on issues. Their work ethics are undeniable.

Of course, neither of these leaders are perfect. They have faults, have made mistakes, and certainly are still learning. Yet I, for one, admire both of them for their contributions and what we can learn from their examples.