1. Always be true to yourself.
2. Rather than focus on work-life separation, focus on work-life integration.
3. Don’t network. Focus on building real relationships and friendships where the relationship itself is its own reward, instead of trying to get something out of the relationship to benefit your business or yourself.
4. Remember to maximize for happiness, not money or status.
5. Think about what your definition of success really is. Is it externally driven or internally driven?
6. Get ready for rejection.
7. Success unshared is failure. Give back — share your wealth.
8. Successful people do all the things unsuccessful people don’t want to do.
9. Don’t lie, cheat or steal for one penny or one dollar — ever.
10. Business with bad people is always bad business
11. A bonus one:  Live your life full throttle. Take risks!

1. Know your stuff. They are both smart, enterprising, studied leaders. Neither stopped learning when they assumed each new position; in fact, I believe they studied even harder.

2. Talk straight. Though many many may disagree with their positions, giving the “straight and skinny” is  imperative in their roles. There is no room for watered-down diplomacy; there has to be diplomacy anchored in facts. Candor can indeed be a powerful approach in negotiations.

3. Be brave. Popularity is not the end game. Being brave – to stand tall in the face of controversy from all sides, including their own – is a requirement. Can you even imagine going into the various situations they faced – from 9/11/01 to today’s tumultuous unrest – all around the world?

4. Take nothing personally.  This gets easier as we move up the ladder of success. Regardless, we are all part of the “human condition”, and have feelings. Despite the many lives lost, hard decisions made, and sharp criticism of these respective leaders, they both stayed the course against formidable odds.

5. Always do your best. It cannot be disputed that these women, as different as they are in approach, style and values, work like Trojan horses. They continually put their best foot forward; again, it matters not whether we agree with their individual stances on issues. Their work ethics are undeniable.

Of course, neither of these leaders are perfect. They have faults, have made mistakes, and certainly are still learning. Yet I, for one, admire both of them for their contributions and what we can learn from their examples.

1. Go for perfect. Steve Jobs sweats the details. Enough said.

2. Tap the experts. Jobs hired I.M. Pei to design the NeXT logo, for example! Imagine, a world class architect designing a logo.

3. Be ruthless. Jobs is as proud of the products he has “killed” as the ones he has released. Focus. Fail fast. This will free up resources to focus on the right things. He scrapped a Palm Pilot clone when he realized that cell phones would eclipse PDA’s – and this lead to more engineers focusing on the IPod.

4. Shun focus groups. He believed that “people don’t know what they really want until you show it to them.” So he was his own one-man focus group – testing and playing with products himself for months. Interesting perspective – from a true creative leader driving innovation.

5. Never stop studying. He studied German and Italian cars for the Mac design case. He poured over Sony’s use of fonts, layouts, etc. He never stopped learning, growing, and challenging the status quo.

6. Simplify. His design philosophy is constant simplification. The classic example was when he asked the Ipod engineering team to lose ALL buttons, except the on/off button – which lead to the iconic scroll wheel instead!

7. Keep your secrets. Everyone – everyone – at Apple is on a “need to know” basis. This secrecy allowed Jobs to generate frenzied demand which lead to global headlines and lines from every Apple store around the block.

8. Keep teams small. The original Mac team was only 100 folks! This maintains strict accountability and tight communication.

9. Use more carrot than stick. Enthusiasm inspires long hours and “insanely great” commitment from your employees. Jobs is scary smart and tough as nails – yet his charisma is his most powerful attribute.

10. Prototype to an extreme. Everything from Apple is tested and tested – for years. Steve Jobs was known for scrapping a project after a year+ of time and resources on a prototype and start over from scratch.

We can all learn a tremendous amount from Steve Jobs – from his resiliency in the face of cancer to his perseverance when Apple faced tougher times in past decades. Yet, one of the most valuable lessons we can learn is his (and his team’s) approach to creativity – how can we apply these simple tips to our work?

• Substance – to me, this is all about sharing what you know, what you have experienced, and what you believe in a powerful, credible way. This is not to be mistaken with arrogance, smugness, or even overzealous bearing. This is having an inner backbone and a sense of being centered in thought, word and deed. By having this gravitas, one communicates in a way that conveys confidence and instills confidence in others.
• Style - this is all about carrying yourself in a way that is undeniably YOU. And frankly, this is also about how you actually look. Of course, I am a believer of not judging a book by its cover; however, in the business arena, how we “show up” can absolutely define how others perceive us. Our dress, our hair, and even our accessories are all a part of our personal brand and how we are remembered. In addition, how we talk, our mannerisms, our etiquette, our voice, our accent, and our approach – all can be differentiators. Think about Lady Gaga – it is not enough that she can sing and play the piano; it is how she “shows up” which is totally and 100% unique to her. That is what has made her a star. Period. The same is true in business. I am not suggesting pink hair or naked body suits; however, I am suggesting creating a style which is uniquely your own and represents who you are. Then, be consistent with it. This is how you “show up” and people will remember you.
• Authenticity – I have written a lot about authenticity, as I believe this is one of the single most powerful leadership attributes. Being real – down to your core – is the ultimate factor in the ‘x’ factor. You can read more about what I mean by this in these two prior articles: Authenticity 2.0 and Authenticity: the New Buzz Word or the Real Deal?

Finally, being in alignment – in mind, body and spirit – is the required fuel for the ‘X’ factor. It is not enough to have substance, talent, smarts, style and even authenticity if all of YOU is not in alignment through your mind, body and spirit. Simply put: aligned individuals and leaders are unflappable, and motivated by a deeply felt purpose. As Oprah Winfrey offers: “The secret is alignment: when you know for sure that you’re on course, and doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, fulfilling your soul’s intention…when your life is on a course with its purpose, you are your most powerful.” Who can argue that Oprah Winfrey does not embody the ‘X’ factor?

So, if you are interested in exploring how to shift perceptions, make heads turn, increase your relevance, build your credibility, and, in short, improve your “X Factor” potential, reach out to me! This is not the “fluff” in business – this is the real “X-executive presence”!

What can we do about it? Many things do seem out of our control – and in some cases, they are. Yet, when I was reading The New York Times‘ “Corner Office” from earlier this year, I felt a few of the key points of wisdom as shared from a small group of successful CEO’s extremely relevant. Their five points for achieving success included:

• Passionate curiosity. Always stay curious. Ask questions. Learn from everyone. Stay open. Stay alert and AWAKE. There is more than one right answer! Just because it has never been done that way before does not mean it can’t be – or perhaps even should be.
• Battle hardened confidence – which, here, translates to observe and know what leads to success and failures in life. Build awareness around your failures and successes and do not blame it on someone else – or something else. In a word: own it. This aspect of accountability and owning is missing in virtually every aspect of society – from our government trying to lead our country out of a desperate state, to our population wanting hand-outs, to middle managers in corporate America frustrated with senior leadership. We need to “be the change we wish to see.” Period. We own it.
• Team smarts – working together is the only way. Nothing on a grand scale is done in solitude or alone. Embrace diversity – in opinion, approach and background experience.
• A simple mindset – as a dear mentor of mine used to teach us: it must pass the “Granny test”: if our grandmother doesn’t get it, then it is simply too complicated. The KISS approach keeps us focused and reduces the tendency to lose the plot.
• Fearlessness – Ask the questions of which we are afraid of the answers. Pursue the unknown – even if it is dark. Shake the status quo. Like the other four points, fearlessness is an attitude. And because attitude is one of the few things over which everyone has complete control, it is a character trait which we can develop.

Whether this be in our current jobs, company or in our national endeavors, we have to continually look in the mirror with passionate curiosity and have the courage and confidence to make – and lead – change. That is the only way forward.

“Now, what do I really want to do?!”

Just as the question and rationale for change differs for each individual, the answer does, too. A few simple suggestions to help ready yourself as you enter into the virtually unknown:

1. Find and leverage the right support system. We really do nothing alone.  We need mentors, lawyers, board members, colleagues, and even executive/leadership coaches to help navigate the road to change. Often we don’t see what we need to see. We need to ask the hard questions – often the questions for which we don’t want to hear the answers. Ask them anyway. Perspectives from objective sources bring fresh solutions and ideas.

2. Evaluate your current position. What I mean by this is your financial  position, your competitive position, and your current intentions for the change you are pursuing. How are you relative to your cash reserves? Do you have money to support you and your lifestyle while you pursue this new venture? How do your skills stack up against others in your field? What makes you different? What makes who you are and what you do relevant to others? What do you really want to do in this new role? What is your overall intention and objective for the change in the first place? What was/is missing in your current position and life? Don’t lose sight of any of these factors and answers. It can be easy to become intoxicated with “visions of grandeur.” Stay grounded and realistic about your currency in the market AND how you want to “spend it.”

3. Finally, remember nothing is permanent. We can make changes, mistakes, and missteps as we travel our career roads. We may choose one path, and realize fairly quickly it was not what we had thought it would be. That happens! Yet, we learn through each experience which ultimately makes us the leaders we are. So, be ruthlessly honest with yourself. Allow your vulnerabilities to show and be transparent with your support system. Be honest about what you are good at doing AND what the most challenging aspects are of your profession. Stretch, grow and remember the only compass you need to follow is your authenticity and how you want to contribute in this world.

Doug highlights 16 leadership attributes, anchors them with verses from the poem, and together they provide the leadership framework outlined in his book. He then exemplifies these attributes with famous historical leaders as examples. The attributes he outlines are: character, authenticity, integrity, self-efficacy, ambition, vision, boldness, resilience, inspiration, courage, selflessness, stamina, composure, patience, enthusiasm and accountability. The leaders Doug has chosen to illustrate the various attributes include some obvious choices like Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa and George Washington, as well as some less obvious choices.

There is considerable wisdom to be garnered from Doug’s perspective. One grounding tenant is the foundation for his book: the pursuit of self awareness. My clients – individual and corporate – know this is a core belief of mine, as well. Who we are, what we believe, what we hold most dear and the courage to embrace and act upon these beliefs and principles define our life and destiny.

There is no question that any leader who embraces the quest for continued learning will benefit from this book. Read it. Learn from it. Share it.

• First, simply determine what you want your brand to be. What do you want folks to think, say, or do when they meet you, interact with you, and when they speak of you to others? This is important. You may want to talk to other folks to get their insights. And most importantly: be authentic.
• Secondly, write down the descriptors and actions which represent that brand. Everything from the length and type of emails you send, to how you dress, to how you “show up,” etc. These are the metrics and measures by which you will then be judged against that brand. This is what you will stand for and how you will be referred. Write it down; say it when describing yourself to others to cement it further – then do what is on that list consistently. Consistency is the key.
• Finally, hold yourself accountable to that brand. In fact, after you have written the descriptors of how you want to be referred – then “assume that position.” For example, if you are faced with a challenging situation and are not sure how to respond, think of how someone like who you have just described would behave – then do it. This is a great way to continually grow into your brand, and build your skills and poise over time.

For those of you who have said to me over the past few years, “I don’t know if I even have a brand,” the answer is yes, you do, even if you don’t realize it. And, if you are unhappy with your brand, the answer to the question “Can I change it?” is again YES. It just takes conscientious self-awareness, authentic definition of how you wish to be thought of, and discipline and attention to making that consistently real to others.

A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

What kind of person are we?
What kind of person do we want to be?
What changes can we make to better enable that person to emerge?
Who do we surround ourselves with and do they bring out the best in us?
How will we know?

The key point I want to share in this post, from the many excellent points from the column, comes from a direct quotation from Bob in answer to Adam’s question of why ask introspective and emotionally delving questions when he hires people:

“ The biggest organizational challenge I’ve seen in small, medium and large companies is this issue of defensiveness. I’m mowing your grass, and maybe I’m making you defensive through my line of inquiry, or because what I’m doing overlaps with what you do. It creates defensiveness in the system, and it’s a natural reptilian kind of response. That defensiveness is what over-amps corporate cultures. So you try to get defensiveness out of the system so that people are focused on achieving, learning and bonding. And that doesn’t mean that we have to go out to dinner, or go bowling. The point is, can I really take an interest in you, and you in me, because it’s meant to drive out the defensiveness that’s part of so many conversations. People want to achieve. People want to learn. Generally, people are driven to do pretty constructive things. People really want to bond, but there can be so many defense mechanisms in a corporate environment. So I try to break that down as we’re bringing people into the corporation, so that they feel they’re in a safe environment.”

The focus of this interview discussed the importance  of surfacing authenticity, purity of intention, and the desire for life-long learning.

I agree with Bob Brennan 100%. What I know from my own experience is that when folks get defensive, for whatever reason; communication is compromised, learning is stalled, and relationships are strained. There is a stark difference between passion and creating a culture which breeds defensiveness. I actually think this article may be one of my favorites of 2010 from The Corner Office. Worth a read  – and I really hope you will comment.